A Place Of Safety Read online

  ‘Do you hate me?’ he asks.

  ‘We all do stuff we’re not proud of,’ she says.

  His eyes sting. ‘But what I did is so disgusting.’

  ‘Not for me to judge.’

  He looks up at her, relieved by her words—but terrified her eyes will betray them as lies. He’s glad when he sees her chin has gouched onto her chest.

  Chapter Six

  ‘Thanks for this,’ said Lilly, and strapped Sam into the back of Penny’s new Range Rover. ‘Can I give you something towards the petrol?’

  Penny crossed her arms. ‘My husband is a hedge fund manager and I drive past your house on the way to school.’

  ‘It’s still good of you to take him for me.’

  Penny shut the car door and turned her back so the children couldn’t hear. ‘You know it’s no problem for me, but I’m still not sure this is a good idea.’

  Lilly had had to confide in her friend when it occurred to her that she couldn’t leave Anna alone during the school run, and she certainly couldn’t take her back to what was effectively the scene of the crime.

  ‘It’s only for a week, two at most,’ said Lilly.

  ‘But this is your home,’ said Penny.

  Lilly touched Penny’s hand. ‘I know it seems like a step too far.’

  ‘No shit, Sherlock.’

  ‘But if you knew what Anna had been through you’d understand,’ said Lilly.

  ‘Don’t be too sure about that.’

  ‘It makes your foster kids look like they’ve been living with Jamie Oliver.’

  Penny nodded. ‘Just don’t let anybody at Manor Park find out you’re subletting to the opposition. Luella says there are hundreds of journalists still hanging around and you wouldn’t want them finding out, now would you?’

  When Penny started up the engine, Lilly tapped on the window and waved at Sam. He looked the other way.

  ‘Tell me how you came to England.’

  Anna looked startled, a fox in headlights.

  ‘I can’t defend you unless I know all about you,’ said Lilly.

  It felt strange to be conducting an interview in her kitchen, and Lilly wasn’t sure she liked it. True, it was convenient to have a kettle and tea bags to hand, and she hadn’t needed to pull on more than her jeans, but there was something uncomfortable about discussing murder in the place where she normally baked cakes.

  Anna spread her palms on the kitchen table. ‘My father paid a man.’

  ‘Did you leave Kosovo with Artan?’ asked Lilly.

  Anna shook her head, slowly, deliberately. ‘No. I left with my brother, Brahim.’

  ‘What happened to Brahim?’

  The words were flat, almost mechanical. ‘We were separated on the journey. I don’t know what happened to him.’

  ‘Have you tried to find him?’ said Lilly. ‘Has he made contact with you?’

  Again, Anna shook her head.

  ‘And the rest of your family?’ asked Lilly.

  ‘Mother and sisters burned. Father missing.’

  ‘So you have no one here?’ asked Lilly.

  ‘No one.’

  Lilly thought of Artan’s body sprawled on the ground, the whites of his eyes milky and still. If he was all Anna had left how must she feel now he was dead?

  ‘Why did Artan do it, Anna? Why did he go to the school?’

  The girl closed one eye and rubbed her brow bone with the fleshy part of her thumb. ‘My head hurts,’ she said.

  Lilly could almost reach out and touch the terrors that had driven Artan to kill but she needed to know what Anna thought of his actions.

  They sat in silence until the doorbell rang.

  Lilly opened the door. Her hair was a crazy mass of curls.

  ‘I come in peace,’ Jack said, pulling a Yorkie from the inside of his jacket.

  She eyed him coolly. ‘Unimpressed.’

  He pulled a Mars Delight from up his sleeve.

  ‘Getting there,’ she said.

  And finally a Toffee Crisp from the back pocket of his Levis.

  She threw her head back and laughed, the sound as welcome to him as spring.

  ‘Come on through, we’re in the kitchen.’

  We? Jack thought. Surely not the ex-husband? Jack knew Lilly liked to keep tight with him for Sam’s sake but the bloke turned up more often than the milkman. Please God, it wasn’t bloody Milo, that would be worse still.

  As he rounded the doorway he realised she meant the girl. God, he was some sort of eejit.

  ‘Hello,’ he said.

  She didn’t answer but got up from the table. ‘I watch TV upstairs.’

  Lilly nodded and they followed her tiny frame with their eyes as she backed out of the room.

  Jack sat down and placed the bars on the table.

  Lilly unwrapped the Yorkie. ‘I know this isn’t ideal, but I had to do it, Jack.’

  ‘Did you?’

  She snapped off a chunk. ‘I didn’t do it to be difficult, to make things hard for you.’

  ‘I know,’ he said. And he did.

  Lilly was many things—impulsive, hot-headed, argumentative—but she never meant to hurt. He smiled, content in the knowledge that she did care for him.

  They sat for a moment, Lilly eating her chocolate, Jack chasing stray grains of salt around the table with his thumb. Now he was here, he didn’t know what to say. Or at least he couldn’t find the words. How do you tell a woman that they make you feel whole? That without them you’d unravel?

  ‘So how did Rupinder react?’ he said.

  ‘I haven’t actually told her.’

  Jack roared with laughter. ‘Jesus, woman. If you thought I was pissed off you ain’t seen nothing yet.’

  Her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Every word seemed wrong. Should she grovel? Not Lilly’s style. Should she resign and hope Rupinder wouldn’t accept it? There was always the chance that she might.

  When Jack had left he’d still been chortling over how Lilly was going to tell her boss that she was babysitting the defendant. Although Lilly had stuck her nose in the air and informed him she’d just give her a call, she hadn’t, of course, actually dared to do it. An hour later she deleted the sixth email she’d drafted.

  ‘There is problem?’

  Lilly looked up at Anna.

  ‘You make serious face,’ she said, and screwed up her nose, which made Lilly laugh.

  ‘I don’t even know where to start,’ Lilly said, and closed the lid of her laptop. She watched Anna fill the kettle with water and sighed. ‘What I don’t understand,’ she said, ‘is why you had a gun.’

  Anna pressed the switch with a long, pale finger.

  Lilly pressed on. ‘I understand that Artan was disturbed. He’d been through too much and one day he cracked.’

  Anna took two cups from the cupboard, her hands trembling.

  ‘He told me that those boys had hurt you,’ said Lilly.

  Anna placed the cups on the counter.

  ‘Did he kill that boy because he raped you?’ asked Lilly. ‘Was it revenge?’

  Anna tilted the kettle, steam escaping from the spout.

  ‘To be honest, I suspected he might do something,’ said Lilly. ‘But I never dreamt he’d involve you.’

  The kettle slipped from Anna’s hand and crashed onto the work surface. Hot, angry water splashed towards her. She screamed and jumped away, holding her hands in the air.

  ‘Lilly jumped to her feet. Are you hurt?’

  Anna didn’t speak but kept her hands in the air.

  ‘Did you burn yourself?’ Lilly asked. ‘Anna, are you okay?’

  The girl’s body began to shake. A staccato jerking that progressed to violent convulsions until her legs buckled and she dissolved to the ground.

  Lilly knelt down and took Anna’s hands. She checked the palms and turned them over. They didn’t seem to be burned. Lilly kept them in her own until Anna’s shudders slowed.

  ‘I know it’s hard, but if I’m going t
o help you I have to know what happened. You have to tell me about the rape and why you had a gun if I’m to make people understand.’

  ‘But how are you going to do that?’ asked Anna. ‘When I don’t even understand myself?’

  ‘Got anything for me, Posh?’

  Alexia sighed. Would she be sitting here if she had?

  Her boss breathed out his disgust in a plume of blue smoke, his frustration building like a boil. Any second it would burst and cover her in yellow poison.

  Un-bloody-believable.

  She’d been the only one inside Manor Park and got the exclusive before all the nationals. Yesterday she’d weighed into the scrum outside the court. What total bedlam that was. The skinheads on one side, asylum seekers on the other. She’d hoped for a bit of argy bargy, but they’d limited themselves to hurling abuse and the odd empty can.

  Even so, she’d put together a fantastic piece. Steve was never satisfied.

  ‘I got you the best fucking story this rag has ever had,’ she said.

  ‘Yesterday’s news, today’s chip paper.’

  ‘So what do you want from me?’

  ‘I want that girl.’

  Alexia shook her head. He was being unreasonable. No reporting was allowed in court because the defendant was a child, so there was no way of finding out who she was or where she’d gone. A source in High Point, the nearest women’s prison, had confirmed she hadn’t gone there. The other women’s prisons claimed to know nothing about her. The police had given the usual bullshit that said a lot but told absolutely nothing. ‘Don’t you think everyone from the Guardian to Hello is looking for her?’

  ‘What about the lad’s parents?’ asked Steve.

  ‘They’re saying zilch.’

  ‘Have you tried?’

  Alexia fixed him with a stare. ‘No, Steve, I left a message on their answer machine, and when they didn’t get back to me I thought, “Ah well, I won’t bother with that then.”’

  ‘What?!’

  She shook her head in despair. ‘Of course I tried. The number’s been discontinued.’

  ‘Probably done a deal with a tabloid,’ he said.

  Alexia smiled to herself. It wouldn’t occur to her boss that the bereaved parents of a murdered teenager might prefer to keep a dignified silence.

  Steve threw his fag end into a cold cup of coffee. It died with a hiss. He was cut from the same mould as her father. Pedantic and petulant. A bully.

  ‘Maybe I should pop down to Noodles and Rice,’ she said. ‘Get us a Chinese.’

  Her boss’s penchant for greasy chicken floating in MSG made her stomach churn, but she hoped it might alleviate his temper.

  ‘Maybe you should pop into the job centre on the way back.’

  ‘Steve,’ she looked him right in the eye, ‘you’re being a twat.’

  He flared his nostrils. ‘Find me that girl.’

  ‘Everything all right?’ asked Lilly.

  Penny ruffled Sam’s hair as he jumped out of her car and raced past Lilly without a word. ‘He’s seriously peed off about Anna staying here.’

  ‘He’ll come round,’ said Lilly.

  ‘Are you sure about that?’

  Lilly gave a half-hearted smile. Penny wasn’t exactly being supportive about Anna but, then again, why should she be?

  ‘You don’t think anyone could have guessed she’s here?’

  Penny shook her head. ‘The papers all said that in a case like this she’d be remanded into custody.’

  ‘Who tipped off the press?’

  ‘Could be anyone,’ said Penny.

  ‘You wouldn’t think parents would want their kids’ school splashed all over the papers.’

  ‘Maybe they think it will do some good.’

  Lilly gave a hollow laugh. ‘How?’

  Penny shrugged.

  ‘And in the meantime there’s this.’ She pressed a letter into Lilly’s hands. It was from the school. A service was to be held for Charles Stanton.

  Bloody marvellous. The mothers would be whipped into a frenzy.

  Could anything else go wrong?

  To: Lilly Valentine

  From: Rupinder Singh

  Subject: The Maudsley Hospital

  As you know, the above is an establishment for the mentally ill and I am booking a place for you as I type, as I can only assume that you have lost your mind.

  If you have another explanation you need to offer it before we open tomorrow.

  Chapter Seven

  ‘Here we are,’ said Lilly, as they approached the office.

  Anna nodded and smoothed her jacket. She had dressed as smartly as her few belongings would allow.

  It was too cold to be without a coat and Lilly had tried to lend one to Anna, but the hugeness of it buried her and made her seem somehow even more pathetic.

  ‘I think it would be best if you let me explain the situation,’ said Lilly.

  Anna laughed. ‘I prefer I don’t speak at all.’

  Lilly took a deep breath and opened the door.

  ‘Look what the cat dragged in,’ said Sheila.

  Lilly ignored the remark. ‘Rupes in?’

  ‘Yes indeed.’ Sheila leaned back in her chair, hands behind her head, determined to enjoy herself. ‘And she wants to know what the hell is going on.’

  ‘Then I’ll go and tell her,’ said Lilly.

  Sheila jumped to her feet and followed Lilly and Anna to Rupinder’s office. ‘This I gotta see.’

  ‘Rupes,’ said Lilly, and grinned so widely her cheeks hurt.

  Rupinder placed her Dictaphone down at an exact right angle to her keyboard.

  ‘Lilly,’ she said.

  ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ said Lilly.

  ‘I think that unlikely,’ said Rupes.

  ‘Well, I can guess you’re annoyed.’

  Sheila snorted. ‘That’s an understatement.’

  ‘Which is understandable,’ said Lilly, ‘but you have to see it from my point of view.’

  ‘Do I?’

  Lilly nodded. ‘It all makes sense when you get where I’m coming from.’

  ‘Lilly Valentine, I gave up trying to get where you’re coming from years ago,’ said Rupes. ‘Your mind is an unfathomable place to me. A place of madness and chaos.’

  Lilly hung her head. ‘Is it really that bad?’

  ‘Yes, it is.’ Rupinder raised her voice, something she never usually did. ‘You have taken on this case despite everyone telling you not to, and then you have agreed to have the client under your supervision.’

  ‘It’s worked out fine so far.’ Lilly turned to Anna. ‘Hasn’t it?’

  Anna nodded vociferously.

  ‘In that crazy house you call a home that may be the case.’ Rupinder was on her feet. ‘But what about here? In the place we laughingly call your office? What on earth will you do with your client here?’

  ‘She can help me,’ said Lilly.

  ‘With what?’ asked Sheila; Lilly had forgotten she was behind her. ‘We don’t have much call for armed assassins.’

  ‘Actually,’ said Lilly, ‘I was thinking she could make the tea.’

  ‘Not bleeding likely,’ said Sheila. ‘She’ll probably poison the lot of us.’

  It was all too much for Rupinder, who roared like a panther: ‘Get out of my room.’

  Lilly pushed Anna outside and closed the door behind her.

  ‘That went better than expected.’

  Luke thumps the pinball machine. He knows they might kick him out but he doesn’t care. It has rained on and off all day and some miserable bitch working in Topshop kicked him out of the doorway. He headed down to Chinatown, to the Golden Gate arcade, but got caught in a downpour. He spent the next hour wet and miserable, watching some rent boys play Motocross 3.

  He pulls the neck of his hoodie over his mouth. It’s dry now but it smells stale.

  He remembers all the stuff he left at home, clean and hanging in his wardrobe. Jeans, trackies, a jacket from Qui
ksilver he’d nagged for and his mum said looked like an overpriced cagoule.

  His mind is a tangle of thoughts, spinning round and round like clothes in a tumble dryer. Not looking where he’s going, he bumps into a girl with dreads hanging past her waist.

  ‘What’s your problem?’

  Luke is instantly ready for aggro, but it’s someone he knows. Long Tall Sally, named not after her height but her tendency to stand at the top of bridges and multi-storeys to abuse the pedestrians below and spit on their heads. Despite this filthy habit she’s always all right with Luke. Caz says she fancies him.

  She smiles at him and reveals black teeth. ‘What’s up, mate?’

  Luke shrugs. ‘Pissed off, that’s all.’

  ‘Why’s that?’

  Why indeed? He could blame his mood on the shitty weather or the fact that he stinks, but he is used to both by now.

  The real reason is Caz, of course. She’s gone AWOL again. At about midday she’d gone off to score. Her usual dealer, Sonic Dave, was on the missing list. Some said he’d gone away for a six stretch, others that he’d been sectioned for climbing up the new statue of Nelson Mandela wearing only a loincloth and a pair of goggles. Either way, Caz said she would make her way over to some bloke she knew in Waterloo. She could have gone to any of the Turks who hung about on Oxford Street but she doesn’t trust them.

  ‘They cut the gear with vim and all sorts of shit,’ she had said.

  But she’s been gone four hours now, and it doesn’t take that long to go a couple of stops on the tube and back.

  He doesn’t feel frightened when she goes off any more, not like in the beginning when everyone and everything around him seemed overwhelming and dangerous. But he still hates it when she isn’t around.

  Maybe she has overdosed.

  A couple of nights ago, Teardrop Tony had collapsed and no amount of slapping him and pouring water over his head could wake him up. Eventually someone phoned for an ambulance and they injected him with something that got him breathing again. Caz said it was adrenalin.

  ‘Don’t you lot think we’ve better things to do than keeping bloody junkies alive?’ the paramedic had said.

  Luke had tried to slink away but Caz had stood her ground, hands on her hips.